Why I Choose Not To Drink

Newsflash: not everyone drinks in college. As crazy as that sounds, I’m an example. Sure, the idea of letting go and just having assisted fun for the night can sound appealing, but I’m just the type of person who likes to be able to control what comes out of my mouth. No one told me that I shouldn’t drink, but a lot of people have told me that I should; it made me start thinking, so I asked myself a question: why don’t you want to drink alcohol?
After a little (or a lot) of thought, I’ve come up with my answer. I come from a reallllly big family who likes to party. Some of my earliest memories growing up deal with being surrounded by alcohol at these parties. I remember that when I went to my very first wedding, I had just gotten a brand new Vera Bradley bag. I (obviously, that thing was, like, golden at the time) never let it out of my sight. That is, until my lovely uncle came and sat next to me on the bench I was sitting on. He put his filled-to-the-brim cup of beer next to me and reached over to give me a hug. And guess what happened? While he leaned he knocked the entire thing on my less-than-24-hour old bag, and guess what, folks? The discussing smell of beer never came out of that glorious bag. Man, I don’t even remember what pattern it was before it was drenched. But in that moment, I swore it off, telling myself that that would never be me.
On a less humorous and more personal level, I remember the very first time I witnessed someone absolutely gone because of the amount of alcohol they consumed that night. At another family wedding (yeah, big family, big weddings) I remember watching one of my favorite aunts stumble around the room gathering up her things while a group of relatives collected in the corner whispering about what they should do with her. As the responsible mother of the five kids she brought to the wedding alone, they weren’t sure what to do with her and her kids. The next thing I remember is that I was in my mothers arms as she stood next to the driver side window consoling one of my oldest cousins. This was one of her first times behind the wheel, getting pushed into DD for her mother for the night, and she was crying hysterically. As I peered around my mom’s shoulder, I could see my aunt through the back window, sprawled out practically unconscious in the back of their mini van, as four other sets of eyes met mine looking equally terrified. Of course, I was just a kid, my memory probably doesn’t give any justice to what actually happened, but that fact that those bits and pieces are formed together means something to me. I would never want to get to that point, and never want to hurt or scare the people I love like she did that night. I think I may have associated alcohol and not safe together from a young age, and I can’t just take that back now, soooo here I am today.
Sure, why would my past mean that these circumstances always happen? It doesn’t. But once I got to college and was given an opportunity with a choice, I only needed to see a few more alcohol-involved instances to realize that drinking just wasn’t for me, it was dangerous and could hurt people. The girl laying with her head in the toilet as I walked into the bathroom in the middle of the night to pee my freshman year, my RA and paramedics gathered outside the door waiting to take her to the hospital. The stupidest decisions all of my friends make every weekend, the way it’s changed some of the people I’ve been closest to and how it’s made more than one of my friendships fall completely apart. It saddens me to see the effects it’s had on me in my life, and I don’t ever want to worry the people who worry about me, because I really respect when people worry about me, worrying about them. And it’s just a decision I’ve decided to make.

~E

October Means Music

Everyone has their own reasons for looking forward to October rolling around every year. The leaves change, the weather cools, birthdays happen, etc. For me, every other October is basically the best and most emotional month that could ever happen. Why? Two words: Taylor Swift.
Every two years Taylor Swift releases a new album, and because she’s awesome that usually comes with a few single releases leading up to the emotional bomb (yes, so emotional that I do oftentimes cry about it). As basically everyone knows, her first single from this 1989 album was Shake It Off, which as been at the top of the charts until last night around midnight. Taylor’s new release Out Of The Woods was leaked at 11pm instead of midnight, and within the first hour of it being on sale, it was at the top of the charts and iTunes said that it was “sold out.”
So what does that tell you about the song? That it’s FANTASTIC! I sit here and cry my eyes out listening to it. I fell asleep listening to it last night and it’s still on loop this morning. I’d say that if you know what’s good for you, get on iTunes and listen, because it really just sounds like love and happiness and emotional everything.
One plus of the Out Of The Woods adventure last night was being able to be apart of the swifties community. We BLEW UP twitter and I realized that yeah, it’s 100% okay that I cry when it comes to anything Taylor Swift because you know what? All these people get me, and it’s a great group of people, and I love that I’m apart of their community.
I know that some of us aren’t buying the album or any of the singles until you can get the deluxe edition from Target the day it goes on sale (meeee!) so I’m going to post a link where you can listen to Out Of The Woods with surprisingly great quality.

http://www.projectu.tv/taylor-swifts-new-single-out-of-the-woods-is-here/

~E

Why I Want To Get Back Into Running

A few weeks ago, I finally decided to cave in and download the Timehop app. It’s been great-so many good memories over the past four years that I now get to remember every morning! This particular morning I opened Timehop to see that three years ago from today (my junior year of high school, I was 15) I PR’ed (got a new personal record, for those of you who don’t run) at one of my favorite cross country meets. I was in the varsity heat and got tenth overall. My PR? 20 minutes 30 seconds, and a few weeks later I got it even lower. That was my time for a 5k. I guess I didn’t realize it then, but that’s really impressive! I never felt like I was a good enough runner because of the pressure placed on me, but I’ve got to give myself some props, I didn’t know my PR was that fast.
But flash forward three years later, today. Other than being proud of myself, I have some regret. I was only a few seconds away from breaking twenty that season, and I remember that being one of my first goals. I always said that I pushed myself as hard as I could, but looking back now I wish I had had just a little bit more in me. Reminiscing on all of this ended up motivating me to go on a run. And it made me feel awful. I was out for roughly 40 minutes and ran a little less than three and a half miles. I managed to kick a stick with one foot while stabling myself with it in my other ankle (all in the same move). Moments later I ended up rolling that same ankle, and, because I’m not in the mental zone that I was able to live in back then, I let myself stop and walk. Twice.
Yes, I got off my butt and away from Netflix to go on a run today, and that makes me more blessed and motivated than the majority of the people in America. But I really, really want to be back to where I was three years ago. It took so much to get to that point, but I really want to get back to it. I think I’m going to start trying to put in the hard work and dedication that will get me on the right track, because I know that I can do it.
So there’s that. Happy Motivational….Wednesday?
~E

Do You Know How Much You Are Loved?

Yesterday I realized that I probably tell my roommate I love her more times a day than I tell my own mother. Love is a word that’s just thrown around now, but at the same time, it’s just so powerful. Sure, I love Katie and would do anything for her. And yes, I’m going to tell her that even if I’m leaving the room for .4 seconds to go and pee and come back. My point is, we typically let the people who mean the most to us know that they do.
But I have a question: Most people don’t “see” God everyday and don’t always feel like He is there with them in their struggles, so how should we always know that He is? God’s love for us is hard to understand. We’re all taught that He loved us so much that He sent His only son to die for us. Yes, I can spit that back out at you any time of any day, but how well does that transfer over to life outside of mass? Can you just walk outside and smile because you just know God loves you so so so much? Or when the sun hits your face do you take a second to thank God for His love? On sunny days I try to, but over the past few days it’s been raining and storming. How do I know God is there for me during those storms?
Once upon a time someone told me something that really made me realize His love for me . . . do you know the feeling you get when your favorite song comes on the radio? That new one that’s hardly ever played? The dance party you throw for yourself in your car because of it? The happiness it gives you? Yeah, God’s love for you is greater than that. Take that in . . . isn’t it crazy?
Last night I was in tears watching videos of Taylor Swift’s fans meeting her in the 1989 Secret Sessions she’s been hosting. Each fan was hand picked and invited to her house for cookies and a preview the new album. As they entered her house one by one, she knew each one by name even though she’s never actually met any of them. I cried and cried watching these fans because I was just. that. happy. And you want to know what’s insane? What made me cry even more? Knowing that the love I felt for each of those people, a love so strong it came in tears of happiness, the complete love I felt for each of those strangers, was nothing compared to God’s love for me. That’s so crazy. No matter what, God loves you that much. You can turn your back and deny Him, but He’s always waiting to bring you back home, because that’s what love is, forever.
~E

DIY Dalmation Costume

It’s that time of year again! Sweaters, pumpkin carving, and Halloween parties! October is the perfect time for all of us poor college kids to shine because hello, DIY costumes! This year my boyfriend and I decided to go as … Continue reading

Thought I’d Share……

Just scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed a few moments ago I decided to click on an article Project Inspired put on their page today. I couldn’t get through this video without knowing that I really needed to share it.

http://www.projectinspired.com/girl-to-girl-talk-i-will-wait-for-you-spoken-word-future-husband-qualities/

Have a great Wednesday!!
~E