Being Downgraded To A Sexual Object By A Man

To all the ladies out there who have ever bought any type of lingerie . . . Have you ever had a man ring you out and comment on your choices?  Specifically telling you that “Wow, I can just picture you in this right now.”  Any of you get offended?  I know that I sure do.  I get offended hearing about this happening to friends, to family members, to women that I don’t even know.  No, this hasn’t happened to me specifically, but I work in a sporting goods/hunting store, and we sell camouflage lingerie.  Yeah, it’s absolutely hideous and we joke about it, but some people are really into it.  When we sell any of it, everyone always notices.  But it’s typically that someone just bought it, not anything about the actual woman who purchased it.  But imagine my surprise and absolute disgust when, after ringing out the first woman who bought a matching bra and undies set, my male coworker turned to me to comment on it.  Let me tell you something first, this is the same coworker who asked me for pictures a few months ago so I already don’t think very highly of him.  After the woman left he turned and looked at me and said: “Man, that entire time I could not stop picturing her in that.”  Excuse me? What was that?

Am I the only one who finds this absolutely downgrading? Women are SO MUCH MORE than boobs and a butt!  We are created and designed for so much more than just a sexual objects or eye candy for men!  What’s worse? This was a few weeks ago . . . and tonight it was MY boyfriend who sold a set.  Of course he thought it would be necessary to tell me because we joke about how many we sell, but just the way he told me hits the same nerve that was hit before.  “I wanted to remind her that it’s common courtesy to dress for the body you have, not for the kind you want….” Excuse me? Again? I thought better than you! You should NEVER judge a woman on her body, especially if you don’t know her story.  Maybe she was buying new lingerie to inspire and motivate herself to make it become her size eventually, but that’s absolutely none of your business.  And you know what? You shouldn’t be looking her up and down judging her body anyways.  Oh wait, my bad, you’re just “being a dude, sorry.”  Yeah, me too. I’m sorry I thought you could control yourself better than you obviously can.

Maybe it hits more home with me than it should because I just assumed that Rico didn’t look other women up and down everyday judging and imagining what their bodies look like.  Yes, I’m a virgin and he’s not.  Maybe that makes my worries MY fault and MY problems, but it shouldn’t.  I should be able to trust and confide in him and know that he respects and treasures me.  I hate the idea of being compared to his imaginations and past relationships, and that’s such an awful feeling.  Maybe he can’t help his initial thoughts because he is a guy, but he should at least be trying to stop himself.  Not only do myself and the women around him deserve more, but he does as well.  The entire thing just makes me so disappointed.

It’s okay to appreciate a woman’s beauty, but that appreciation should be limited to how beautiful God created her to be, not letting that appreciation seep deep into the imagination.

That’s all, rant over.



When A Guy Asks For A Picture.

I haven’t really gotten any attention from any guy at all this summer, but for some reason the other day three different guys asked me to hang out, and it was actually kind of strange. I went to high school with one of them, Rico was another (and I actually hung out with him twice yesterday, but that’s a story for later!!) and we’ll call the last guy Cole.  Rico and I work with Cole, and when I was going through my Facebook messages a few nights ago I saw that he’s messaged me four or five times the past few weeks and I had no idea. I decided that why not, I should message him back. So I did. After I did I guess I wasn’t replying fast enough because he decided it would be easier for me to just text him so I got his number. He immediately asked me to hang out with him and he was throwing out the compliments (FYI, for those of you who don’t know, that’s a sign that you’ve got a classic ass on your hands, excuse my language.) I tried with the one word answers and the not replying, but it wasn’t working. After he continued to text me without a reply, I got a message from him: “Send me a picture?(: ” Ummmm excuse me? Do you even know who you’re talking to? I’m a girl who will look at that and read something along the lines of “I really don’t want to get to know you, I just want to talk to you because you’ll send me pictures of your naked body.” Let me also reiterate the fact that he never talks to me in person at work.  He’ll come up to a group of my friends and talk to every one of them except for me. I’m really sorry that I don’t wear makeup or do my hair for when I’m on the clock, but you see that I do in pictures on Facebook and decide that I’m actually pretty enough for you when I try? After I completely went off on him for not respecting not only me, but every woman he encounters everyday, he tried changing his mind and telling me it was just for my contact info in his phone. Yeah, I’m really not stupid, I promise. If he wanted a picture of my face, he could have chosen one of my many profile pictures he went through and “liked” on Facebook. Please. I really have no respect for guys like this. I hate it when a man thinks he is entitled to a picture of a woman because he asks. If a man really wants to get to know you, he should prove it. He should try to find out what you like to do, what you believe in. Even something as simple as asking what your favorite color is.  It absolutely kills me to watch girls fall for games that guys play, to settle for something less than they deserve. I don’t have a problem telling a guy when he’s absolutely screwed up, so this isn’t that bad for me, but it really, really hurts when I watch my friends go through this.  I just don’t tolerate it anymore. I wish everyone else wouldn’t either.

Rant over, thank you 🙂